GET OUT YOUR MONEY...!

Fok artist Butch Anthony's rendering of my father painted about 15? years ago.....

And another 'folksy" column by the "mayor"...or as he has been called...

"The Pundit of Pittsview"...

GET OUT YOUR MONEY –
DOG RACING HAS COME TO PITTSVIEW

All this talk about dog racing these days is a little confusing. All the politicians are busy declaring whether they are for it or against it.
If they don’t like dog racing, I guess they’d better stay out of Pittsview, because we already have it.
We have a half-mile measured track from George Boon’s store down to the graveyard, right through the middle of town.
If you want to see dog races, come on down and just park under one of our oak trees for awhile. Bring your own dog if you want to.
But he won’t stand much of a chance. These country dogs are in pretty good shape.
I don’t think we have many greyhounds. In fact, I’m pretty sure we don’t. But we do have plenty of dogs that can and do race daily.
Some days only two or three will race. Some days all the dogs in Pittsview seem to get in on the fun.
My own dog participates about once a week. Most of the time he just hangs around the house listening for the screen door to open. But about once a week I reckon he gets bored, and he decides to follow me to downtown Pittsview.
By the time he gets to the main street, ole Beau is really moving. The regular dogs in Pittsview are caught napping.
Beau just streaks on through till he gets to my old store building where he drinks a lot of water, slobbers on everything, and then stretches out on the cool concrete floor. He is preparing for the trip back.
Meanwhile, the regular Pittsview dogs are watching for him. They have learned that when he flashes through their territory like that, it won’t be long before he will be coming back.
When I start back home in my truck, ole Beau strikes out down the main street ahead of me. A great big black dog hangs out at the first house, but he doesn’t stand a chance in the dog race since Beau has passed him before he knows what has happened.
But the black dog’s bark alerts the rest of the dogs down the street, and then the real race is on.
The next dog in line is an Eskimo-looking dog with long hair, and he can run pretty good.
Across the street is a fat, short-legged bulldog. He always gets an ‘A’ for effort, but he is 'way out of his league. Those short, stubby legs move so fast you can hardly see them, but he is quickly left in the dust of the others.
At one time there was a great big St. Bernard living in the fourth house on the right. He would come charging out of his driveway with such power that he had trouble negotiating the turn onto the street.
He would swing ‘way across to the other side before he could straighten up and get in the race. Ole Beau, the Eskimo dog, and even the big black dog would all be past him before he got going good.
The St. Bernard got to where he would come charging out of his yard just as soon as he heard the first noise down the street in order to try to get ahead of them.
One day he heard a noise, charged headlong out into the street, and tangled with a pulpwood truck. Unfortunately, he was permanently eliminated from the race.
One fellow in Pittsview has four mixed-breed, long-legged dogs that follow his car everywhere he goes. When he comes through town with four yapping dogs alongside his car, it really does get exciting. You never heard such yelping, snarling, and barking at any dog race.
If they do get the dog track started over in Tuskegee, I’m thinking seriously about taking a truckload of these Pittsview dogs over there. Even if I didn’t win any money, I know it would be great fun for everybody concerned. Especially the dogs.

(written August 25, 1983 for the East Alabama section of the Ledger Enquirer newspaper in Columbus, GA)

Have a lovely Day!

-Mug